Hot-Foot-It into the Volcano
by I.C. Weener
Summary: Like a shrimp on the barbie.


_"Shoulder Crush."_

\- Eiji Shinjo, Battle Arena Toshinden

 _"Overload. Overload. Too many changes. System lock."_

\- Cyclopsis, Mighty Morphin Power Rangers

* * *

Urbosa's spies risked their lives returning with the information they had gathered from the darkest corners of Gerudo territory, but no one could imagine how many countless more lives their bravery would end up saving.

It was the worst news possible. The cowardly thralls of the Yiga clan knew more than they were ever letting on. Far, far more. Their treachery stooped so low that at least one nameless agent had been working in the castle since Zelda began studying the prophecies of Calamity Ganon's return. The Yiga knew exactly when and where she had dug up the Divine Beasts. They knew the precise number of Guardians that were stationed in the king's army. They knew who had been selected to pilot each Divine Beast, and they had been obsessively stalking each one from the shadows the whole time. Calamity Ganon was on the verge of taking over the entire mechanized forces and slaughtering the Champions moment he appeared. His resurrection would bring about four gruesome abominations specifically bred to make short work of each individual pilot. All of those attempts the Yiga had made to assassinate the princess over the past months now just seemed like games to draw her noble companions out and measure their abilities.

Hyrule wasn't going to stand a chance when the Calamity came.

No one could decide how to handle the horrifying news. There was no point in wasting all of the kingdom's resources just to bury all the machines again, not when they had spent so long preparing and Calamity Ganon was set to emerge at any moment. Princess Zelda was almost ready to give up completely. She couldn't bear to continue to force her friends into what she now knew would be their certain doom. Daruk insisted they were strong enough to overcome all the murderous scheming and fight with their Divine Beasts head-on as they had always planned. Mipha offered only terrified silence and fretful glances toward Link. It was Revali who suggested they should play the Yiga's cards against them by continuing their training like normal, and then secretly trade Divine Beasts on the day the real threat appeared.

 _"And I'm not just saying this because I'm the best pilot for any one of these ancient buckets of bolts."_

Ganon could be one caught totally unaware. It sounded just desperate enough to work. So from that day onward, the Champions had continued mastering the Divine Beasts they were never going to use. At night, in the dark crypts underneath the Temple of Time that used to be known only to members of the royal family, they trained against each other.

And now the hour of Calamity had arrived. Mipha was watching over the unfamiliar control terminal in front of her as if it were face of a kind stranger who needed her help. When she was first asked to be Ruta's pilot, she was ready to accept whatever happiness or sorrow awaited her in the frightening road ahead. Now she had lost all notion of what her future might hold.

Black and red storm clouds gathered in the sky miles ahead of her. Ganon's pig-like form swirled through the dark miasma over Castle Hyrule as he gathered his power. Half of the Guardians had already fallen under his control, and the battlefield was a mixture of controlled panic and absolute horror. Only King Rhoam's closest officers were aware of the full danger Ganon posed, and they had quietly maneuvered as many troops as they could out of the Guardians' lines of sight before the chaos started. The ordinary rank and file soldiers had to be kept in the dark over what was really happening so word couldn't lead back to the Yiga clan. It was a painful decision made after hours upon hours of arguments, but it was the one that would protect the most lives. The Champions could only hope they regained control of the Divine Beasts fast enough before any serious damage was done to Castle Town.

If they managed to regain control at all.

Even the Champions never decided who would wind up with which Beast until the moment was forced on them. Daruk had simply ordered them to take positions when Ganon first appeared in the sky. They made their choices on the spot before they parted ways, with no disagreements over who belonged where. Desperation, gut instinct, and the bonds they had formed in their secret training told them what to do in place of failed prophecies.

Camels handled the desert heat as well as Gorons, eagles made good companions for Gerudo scouts, elephants enjoyed having little birds on their backs to peck off their parasites, and salamanders were friends of the water. Mipha was beginning to realize it wasn't just a coincidence she had been packing plenty of chilled sea cucumber lately.

Ganon cast thousands of the glowing globs of Malice out of his clouds. Mipha waited in regret for one of the black fireballs to come screaming for her. When the Divine Beast was tragically struck, she clutched her trident close to her heart and breathed like she always did before a big dive.

The control terminal in front of her turned red like it was always doomed to. The air around her became tainted with Malice. A figure materialized out of streams of bright blue light coming out of the terminal. At first, she was reminded of how Link appeared when he was using his Sheikah Slate to teleport. Then she realized this wasn't her beloved suddenly arriving to save her. She was standing eye to eye with death itself.

The Fireblight hissed in bloodthirsty rage. He waved his club over his head, glared down menacingly at Mipha, and… looked confused. A soulless being made half from Ganon's most vile essence and half from stolen Sheikah tech, caught completely off guard by the measly mortal standing before him. He made a snorting sound as if to say " _Dead, all the same_ ," and began to loom closer.

Fireblight Ganon was a pillar of volcanic fury ready to burn anything in his path, and Mipha was a tiny Zora princess who just happened to be the same color as a fire wagon. She had all of the Eldin Province standing behind her, and depending on her.

 _He has a shark's bite, but look at how he flops around like a walrus. Just watch out for his right and he'll never keep up with you,_ Mipha silently reassured herself. She closed her eyes and blocked the Fireblight's horrible fuming image from her mind. When she opened them again, she saw a frustrated Daruk standing in front of her, already knowing he had been beaten. It was the same way she looked every time it was her turn to spar with Revali in the crypts. She could never deflect all his practice arrows no matter how quickly she spun her trident.

Fireblight Ganon swung his club in a beckoning motion. Mipha twirled her trident in her palms to steady her grip. The two forces met like lava crashing into an ocean wave.


End file.
